Fire Breathing Truth

Reclaim Your Power. Ignite Your World

Self-Love

“I’ve always had a high opinion of myself. Perhaps with good reason.” Edith Pilaf

Like everything in our lives, liberation, happiness and empowerment start with YOU.  The women you are and the human being you aspire to be is cultivated by the love and care you give yourself.  We want a happy soul, deep friendships, strong relationships, satisfying accomplishments, genuine epiphanies, and a greater sense of what this life all about. And each of those moments will be a reflection, in direct proportion, to the love and care we grant ourselves.

Sometimes we don’t receive the guidance, support and care we need from other people and have to figure things out for ourselves. Some of us have to learn how to be kind, confident, healthy and productive all on our own. And most of us end up raising ourselves to become better human beings.  That is why each of us must stand as our own advocate, on own authority and in our own sovereignty. We must madly and deeply love and care for ourselves. First, foremost and always.

Self-love is scarce on this planet. Unfortunately, society has twisted self-love into strange forms of vanity and egoism.  Self-reverence is edited and airbrushed with insecurity and self-criticism.  “Who am I to be brilliant, talented, fabulous, and beautiful?” Marianne Williamson asks, “Actually who are you not to be?”  Self-love is not egoism, it is empowerment. Self-Love simply says I matter, I am worthy, and I am good.  Self-love is the direct and guaranteed currency of self-empowerment. And in this plague of self-hatred, self-love is the anti-dote.  That is why we must love ourselves wholly and completely. First, foremost and always.

So how do we look into the mirror and love what we see? How do we unfailingly and unconditionally adore each and every part of ourselves? Truth be told: How can we not? Out of all the circling years of galaxies and cosmos, YOU sacredly birthed your unique self to be a part of this planet. Your self-creation is divinely greater than the world allows us to know, allows us to think, or allows us to be.  Your arrival on this planet is a holy and immeasurable work of power… and YOU did it. You must reclaim your divine and holy power. You must stand on your own side. Self-love is your spiritual stake in the ground.  Drive it deep and hard. Reclaim. Proclaim. Love-yourself. First, foremost, and always.

Yes, self-love is a raging fire that illuminates your path and comforts you during life’s frost-bites and heart-breaks. It is also a beacon,  letting the world know, “Hey! Love is happening here.” But, I must warn you:  your light will guide, ignite and inspire both your soul and others but it will also provide a place and target for assault. You see, in the most peculiar way, self-love triggers envy - as if it were a rare and exclusive commodity to be purchased or poached.  But, self-love is intrinsic and home-made, yet traitors and thieves will frantically pilferage your soul in search of the love you give yourself. Cat claws are a sad side-effect of misery and unhappy people will scratch deep and wide in hopes that your happiness will seep into their darkness and fill their emptiness. When those attacks occur again and again (and they will),  you will begin to doubt and berate yourself.  You will begin to think that maybe you’ve set your reverence too high.  Maybe the world is right: I am not worthy.  But, if you take a swift turn right back inside at the climax of annoyance, suffering and exhaustion, self-love will cloak you, ignite you and rocket-launch you into a world far greater than this one.  It is intoxicating, mesmerizing, and intensely powerful.  Self-love, like truth, shines so brightly… it boldly sets you free.

Like Joan of Arc on a passionate crusade that no one else understands, self-love becomes your armor and saving grace.  It fills you so completely whole that when you go back out into the world, you dance high of above all of the fuckery.  You stop seeking acceptance, validation and applause. You focus forward and let go of everything else that is toxic. You strip away the props and escapes and you become fully comfortable and un-apologetically present in your own life. Ahhhhh, yes, self-love… it wraps you so deeply and so completely whole that you are never, ever alone.

So when subtle and undermining attacks come from friends, lovers and loved-ones, do not be led astray.  Your fire may invite the uninvited, but it will be your grace, strength and remedy. In spite of those trespassers, stay open, burning and true.  Sustain your soul-made love affair.  Claim it. Proclaim it. Love yourself, madly and divinely. First, foremost, and always. 

The F-Word

My mother told me that when I use “that word” (the F-word) in my writing, it negates everything I say before and after that word. She said that’s the only thing people hear when I use such profanity.  Another friend of mine advised me that I should write more softly, and that I shouldn’t sound so pissed off.

So, let me make a few things clear:  I am not writing to sell bibles to school-aged-children.  I am writing because I want to change the entire culture of the world to empower women. I write because…  I am pissed off.

Why am I pissed off? Because there is still sexism, racism, homophobia, hatred, rape, abuse, and incest. Because women are (still) oppressed, dis-empowered and considered second-rate. Because children are sold, sex-trafficked and have their clitoris' mutilated. And that fucking pisses me off!!  Which, brings me to a perfect statement I heard: “We live in a culture where people are more offended by swear words than by famine, warfare and the destruction of the planet.”

So, let me fuel your fire:

  • 1 and 6 American women will be a victim of attempted or completed rape = 17.7 million women
  • 15% of sexual assault victims are under the age of 12
  • 15 countries around the globe still using stoning to death as a punishment
  • Rape is still being used a war tactic
  • 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime

You see, for me, reading just one line of those statistics make makes my blood-boil into rage. So, if my words are offensive or my mouth too potty, Fire Breathing Truth is not for you.

Why?  Because politeness never changed a damn thing.  Because people should be shocked and offended at the state of the world - not my cuss words.  Because people spend more time looking for a cocktail dress than fighting for human rights. Because people are deeply hurting. Because girls are cutting themselves. Because, I want to provoke the world. Because I want to un-fuck the world.  Because if any woman, anywhere, is suffering, abused, dis-empowered, lost or lonely,  then I will be Fire-Breathing F-words until it all fucking stops!

Then maybe, just maybe, when the patriarchy implodes and the flesh wounds heal, I’ll pour myself a hot cup of tea, gently gaze through a Jane Austen novel as my children frolic in the sand, and perhaps then I'll be singing Disney tunes with a bluebird on my shoulder.  But I doubt it. Somehow, I think my head will be still be screaming, “It’s about fucking time!”